Turns out, they're not actually mutated box turtles trained in the arts of murder by a disgruntled rat - they were really just aliens all along. Presumably from the plastic planet located one exit further down from the 'Transformers' home-world.
“When you see this movie, kids are going to believe one day these turtles actually do exist when we are done with this movie,” said Bay as he took the stage to discuss his new vision for the reptilian reboot. “These turtles are from an alien race, and they are going to be tough, edgy, funny and completely loveable.”
Funny? Edgy? Lovable? Like those two getto robots from Transfromers 2?
“Fans need to take a breath, and chill. They have not read the script. Our team is working closely with one of the original creators of Ninja Turtles to help expand and give a more complex back story… Relax, we are including everything that made you become fans in the first place. We are just building a richer world.”
I am sure he made them alien only so he would have excuse for using explosions...
SOMEBODY, PLEASE STOP THIS GUY! NOW!