How to Cope?
Posted 30 January 2012 - 05:05 AM
Posted 30 January 2012 - 08:58 AM
Accept that its a part of life, and while it will be hard to deal with is enevitable.
I lost my mum back in 2004, the woman quite literally saved my life taking custity of me when I was 5.
She had been sick for quite some time and was always in and out of the hostpial "on her death bed" the doctors would say, but always managed to pull through.
The last time she went into the hospital before passing, I hd a terrible feeling in my stomach all night (I worked midnights at the time)
When we got the call she was back in the hosptial I just kinda said to myself this is it...shes not going to make it this time.
It didn;t make it any easier, Losing her was the hardest thing I ever went though, but accepting the fact that it is just the natural occurance of life, that it was beyond my control and that she had led a full happy life lessened the ache.
I feel for you man, I really do its never easy...man 8 years later I still get misty eyed when I think of her and all she did for me.
The only real thing I did was besides acceptance was listen to a song over and over again.
It was "our" song, well my song for her since it fity us so perfectly.
My mum was devotely catholic, strong belief in God, me?....not so much, the song is Into my arms by Nick Cave.
Have a listen to it, maybe it will resonate with you too
You have my sympathies and my thoughts let me know if there is anything I can do to help
I've spent my entire life pretending I'm not one....
Posted 30 January 2012 - 09:08 AM
First of all, I'm sure I speak for the rest of the Pit here as well, all the love, best wishes and prayers to you, your family and your Dad.
My Dad was rushed into hospital a few weeks ago with suspected kidney failure, he had dozens of tests done to him, have several drips inserted into him and scans and x-rays, but now, thankfully, he has been allowed home. His lifestyle has had to change, and the medication he is now on is gigantic.
At one point, it was looking very bad, we all thought that he wasn't going to make it, and I, like yourself, had to accept the fact that he might not make it. It is the worst realisation anybody can ever have and the only thing that helped me through that stage, was memories! I know it sounds cliched, but it is totally true! We all started talking about things that had happened in our childhood with my Dad, all things that made us smile, made us laugh, and also things that made us think hard. Things that at the time, when we thought our Dad was being strict, or mean, when in fact, he was just looking out for us, or protecting us, making us the adults we are today.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, at the end of the day, if you do unfortunately lose your Dad, nobody can ever take your memories away from you, you will always have them there, ready to watch in your head whenever you want, and in those memories, your Dad will always be there with you, forever.
Keep strong mate, and always remember that we the Pit are always here for you.
Posted 31 January 2012 - 10:27 PM